Coming Clean
by twisted.angell
Summary: The summer after tenth grade holds many memories. Many of which I’m not proud of. Everyone sees me as this good little girl. It’s about time for people to know the truth. Its time for me to come clean.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

_Let's go back   
Back to the beginning   
Back to when the earth, the sun, the stars all aligned_

_'Cause perfect didn't feel so perfect   
Trying to fit a square into a circle   
Was no lie   
I defy_

_   
Let the rain fall down   
And wake my dreams   
Let it wash away   
My sanity   
'cause I wanna feel the thunder   
I wanna scream   
Let the rain fall down   
I'm coming clean, I'm coming clean_

Let's go back to the summer after tenth grade. Okay so it was only 6 months ago but so much has happened since then. The weather was great, I had just turned sixteen and I had gained an amazing step family.

Yeah, that's right Rick and Lily finally decided to get their act together. They'd been living with us for a few months by then and it was about time they made it official.

At the time it had seemed like such a great idea. I couldn't have asked for a better step father. Rick was and still is everything my father wasn't. He was perfect for my mum and for once in her life she seemed truly happy.

Gaining another younger sister wasn't quite so easy. At the time things weren't great for me at school, the guy who I thought was interested in me ended up being interested in Jessie so needless to say I was jealous. I know. It sounds stupid now, I wasn't even interested in the guy, but I was just craving the attention. I was sick of living in Carla's shadow and didn't know what to do about it.

That's where Eli came in. The gorgeous older step brother. From the first day it set eyes on him I'd always had a small crush on him. Okay, no that would be a lie. I had a major crush on him. But I knew he was out of my league so I didn't let myself think about it too often. That all changed when I became his tutor. It was like all of a sudden I was on this guy's radar; he finally knew who I was. Not that it made much difference, sure we became friends but it was nothing like the amazing romance I had imagined. It was kind of a let down really.

Which is why I wasn't too impressed with him moving in. For the first couple of months we sort of ignored each other. He was hardly ever home so it wasn't that big of a deal really. The fact that it seemed as if he wanted nothing to do with me kind of hurt. When in actual fact it couldn't have been further from the truth.

The summer after tenth grade holds many memories. Many of which I'm not proud of. Everyone sees me as this good little girl. It's about time for people to know the truth. Its time for me to come clean.

_I'm shedding   
Shedding every color   
Trying to find a pigment of truth   
Beneath my skin_

_'cause different   
Doesn't feel so different   
And going out is better   
Then always staying in   
Feel the wind_

_I'm coming clean   
Let the rain fall   
Let the rain fall   
I'm coming clean_

_Let's go back   
Back to the beginning_**   
**


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

"Oh, sorry I didn't realise anyone was here" Grace blushed furiously at Eli who was sprawled across the couch.

"Obviously" Eli looked at her appraisingly, that all too familiar smirk on his face. Grace looked down at what she was wearing, oh yeah, definitely embarrass worthy. Why had she decided to go down stairs before she got dressed like she usually did. Oh yeah, that's right, no one was supposed to be home.

"Ah did you want something" Grace looked up at the sound of Eli's amused voice, "or were you just planning on staring at yourself all day"

"Get stuffed Eli" Grace said angrily, glaring at him before turning on her heals to flee back up the stairs.

"Grace wait, I'm sorry" Eli called after her.

"What do you want?" Grace hesitated on the stairs, something about his voice made her consider that he might in fact mean it.

"You should know me well enough by now to know when I'm serious Grace. It was just a joke"

"You know Eli, your right. Considering we live together I should know you well enough by now, but I don't. And as far as I can see, that wasn't my decision"

* * *

'Jerk' Eli scolded himself as he watched her disappear up the stairs again. 'Why can't you just be nice to her for once' he asked himself, and then realized that he already knew the answer. 

He couldn't be nice to her, because that's exactly what he wanted to do, he thought as images of her smooth bare legs flashed into his mind. 'Stop it!' he told himself. When they had moved he had made himself a promise and it was one he'd managed to keep.

It wasn't easy though. Living in the house with the one person you wanted to jump every time you saw them was far from it. But it had to be that way, he was Eli Sammler, cool, confident, popular. And Grace was... well Grace was confident, and surprisingly cool, but she definitely wasn't popular. She just wasn't his type and that was it.

Then why did he still want to grab her every time he saw her.

* * *

"I don't understand what you see in him anyway" Grace shook her head causing her friend to laugh. 

"Come one Grace, you can see it just as well as me. Eli is gorgeous. He has a great body. Plus his in a band" Carla said a small smile creeping onto her face, "what more could a girl want?"

"Ah, for us to have at least one conversation that doesn't end in me walking away" Grace groaned, she was still angry from what had happened that morning.

"Grace, he's your step brother, you aren't meant to get along. But then again" Carla looked at her thoughtfully, "what you described sounds like plain old sexual tension to me. What were you wearing again?" she asked raising an eyebrow then ducking to avoid the pillow Grace tossed her way.

"You know it isn't like that" Grace glared at her, sitting up from where she lay on the bed.

"Yeah I guess not, you aren't exactly his type"

"Dude, you're telling me she walked out practically in her underwear and you didn't even slightly like what you saw"

"Coop, she's like my sister. That would be wrong" Eli said as he picked up his guitar, "no, wait, that would be illegal".

"Since when did that bother you?" Coop laughed, picking up his own guitar, "and anyway, it's not like I'm telling you to go have sex with her or anything, I mean I would, but then that would be like, weird"

"You want to have sex with Grace? Are you fucking crazy?" Eli yelled.

"No I meant you, having sex with Grace, its one thing to look, but touching is a different story altogether" he answered with a smile.

* * *

"You know what you need?" Carla asked watching as finished the last of the cookie dough ice cream that was in front of her, "a night out. You need to relax girl, have some fun" 

"Ah, I don't know... I'm um," Grace stumbled over her words, the last thing she wanted was a night out, "busy, that's it" she said triumphantly "I've got to baby sit Zoë tonight" she said using the first excuse that came to her mind.

"Come on Grace, you think I don't know you better than that? I'm your best friend remember. We are going out tonight and you are going to have fun. Come on Gracie, you never come out with me" she rolled her eyes at her friends use of her childhood nickname. Best friend? Yeah that's why they once were, but lately Grace had been feeling different around Carla, things had stopped being fun, she was sick of going to parties and sitting in some corner alone while Carla was out there hooking up with some random guy she had only just met.

"You know what Carla you're right. I do need to have some fun. What have you got planned?"

* * *

_Its funny now thinking back on that da.y God, I was so embarrassed. It's amazing how much I have changed since then. After everything that has happened, that should just be a fading memory. But it isn't. Because that was the day that changed everything. _

_How often can you say 'that was the moment that changed everything' because even though I didn't know it at the time, it did. And it was only just the beginning._

* * *

**Authors Note: **I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who reviewed my first chapter, it was great to hear so much positive feedback. I really enjoyed writing it as it's completely different to the other fan fics I have written.This chapter isn't anything special, just something to set the story up, your feedback would be greatly appreciated.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"I can't believe I let you convince me to come" Grace complained in disbelief, surveying the drunken crowd that was packed into the living room the she and Carla had just walked into.

"Come one Gracie, relax" Carla laughed pushing a bottle into her hand.

Grace shook her head and tried to give the bottle of vodka and orange back.

"Grace, you don't have to drink it if you don't want to, but if you actually want to have some fun tonight then I recommend you do" her friend shrugged, "Now I'm going outside to watch Eli's band, you can either join me or" she gestured to the crowd that surrounded them, "you can stay here"

Grace rolled her eyes and followed Carla outside; glancing down at the bottle she still held she bit her lip. What the hell she thought, opening it. Carla's right, you don't want to be stuck in a corner by yourself again do you.

* * *

"You know, it's a shame you guys don't get along better" Carla said, staring up at Eli who had just set his guitar down. He and his band Anti-Inflammatory had just finished their last set for the night. 

"Whys that" Grace asked wearily, placing her empty bottle down beside her, what was that her third? She lost track soon after her first.

"Because your brother is gorgeous" Carla exclaimed loudly, slipping her arm around her friends waist, "and you know what" she asked leaning in close, "I'm going to go tell him"

* * *

"Have I told you how hot you are" Grace squinted at the guy whose arm was wrapped around her waist, she tried to focus on his face but all of a sudden it had gotten blurry. 

"Only like 5 times" she mumbled, her head was spinning now.

"Hey, are you like okay?" the guy said way too loudly, pushing his face right up to hers.

"Yes, I mean… no" Grace grabbed hold of his arm to try and steady herself, "where's the bathroom?" she asked as the guy pushed her in the direction of the stairs.

Head still spinning she made her way up the stairs as quick as she could. She had been to the bathroom earlier but for some reason everything looked different now. If only the room would stop spinning she thought making her way over to the closet doorway.

Pushing it open she stumbled onto the floor.

"What the hell are you doing" Grace looked up at the sound of a guys voice, for a second everything stopped spinning, the room was still and she could recognize Eli who stood beside the beside, wearing only a pair of unzipped jeans, on the bed lay Carla, who was topless.

"Oh crap" Grace mumbled, as the room began to spin once again. Forcing herself to get up off the floor she ran out of the room leaving behind a shocked step brother and a frustrated so called friend.

* * *

Having finally finished throwing up Grace let herself slid onto the floor fully, her head hanging between her arms. She'd only just made it in time, a second longer with that image of Eli and Carla in her mind and her entire days food would have been on display. 

"Grace, are you in there?" Through her pounding headache she could hear Eli's voice as he knocked on the door.

"Go away. I'm fine!"

"Grace you're not fine" Eli said softly opening the door.

"I said go away"

"What happened?" Eli asked sitting down beside her and closing the door.

"What the fuck does it look like?" she screamed as she turned to look at him, "I had too much to drink alright. So fucking what"

Eli looked at her, a concerned expression on his face. He'd seen the look of distress on her face when she had recognized him in the bedroom.

"Its more than that Grace, you know it is"

"Look Eli, I'm sorry if the sight of seeing my brother and my best friend together and half naked made me feel sick, but you know what I really don't care. I'm fine now so if you don't mind, I'm going home"

"It was just sex Grace" Eli said softly, ashamed he could not meet her eyes. He knew she was hurting, but there wasn't anything he could do about it, not without doing something totally stupid.

"And why doesn't it surprise me to hear that" Grace groaned, leaning forward over the toilet once again.

* * *

"Where are you going?" 

Eli looked over at Carla who was looking at him with an indignant expression "I'm taking Grace home" he said in reference to the girl who was asleep in his arms. After she'd thrown up for the last time she had just passed out, and Eli was beginning to worry about exactly how much she'd had to drink.

"But we haven't finished" Carla complained in her annoyingly high pitched voice.

"You know what, I don't care. Right now, I have to make sure that Grace doesn't have alcohol poisoning, and that she won't drown in her own vomit. Which makes me wonder who got her so drunk in the first place" he said angrily, "some friend you are"

"At least I acknowledge the fact that she exists Eli"

"An what the hells that supposed to mean"

"That girl is like totally in love with you, it's kind of pathetic since she'll never have the chance, but it'd kind of sad also. I mean, imagine being in love with a guy who can't even say hello to you."

* * *

Eli looked at the sleeping body which looked almost lost amongst the blankets of his massive bed. Their parents had gone away for the weekend and Eli knew that it wouldn't be safe to let Grace sleep on her own. 

Sitting down beside her he gently undone her sandals and let them slip to the floor. He contemplated on whether or not to remove her dress, knowing that she would be embarrassed in the morning if he did, but the sight of a large stain across the front made the decision for him. He'd have to wash it before Lily and Rick got home the next afternoon.

Pulling it up carefully so not to disturb her he couldn't help but let his gaze linger on her tanned legs, he smiled softly as he revealed her lacy pink undies and had to look away as he pulled it back to reveal her matching bra. Forcing himself to stick at the task at hand he brought it up over her head and through the arms and then tossed it on the floor. He'd have to remember to wash that later.

"Eli?" he turned back to the bed to find Grace awake and smiling at him.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you" he said, becoming aroused at the sight of her laying there.

"Thank you"

"For what?"

"For helping me"

Eli walked over and sat on the bed beside her, "Your kind of threw up on yourself so" he blushed trying to explain why he had taken off her dress.

"It fine" she shook her head, "I'm sure you've seen it all before" she said referring to the scene in the bedroom.

"It didn't mean anything Grace"

"I know" she nodded, its just that seeing you with her, my best friend of all people was kind of a shock"

"What do you mean" Eli asked unable to meet her eyes, he knew exactly what she meant and he cursed himself for asking her.

"Because I wanted it to be me" she admitted in a small voice, biting her lip she turned away as Eli looked at her.

"You have no idea Grace"

"What do you mean?" she asked confused.

"I wanted it to be you as well"

* * *

_That night was the night of many firsts for me. The first time I had gotten drunk, the first time that I had seen my so called best friend for who she really was, my first ever serious conversation with Eli._

_Thinking back on it now I have to keep telling myself that what happened was meant to have happened. The thought of 'if only I hand't accepted that first drink' still pops into my mind from time to time, but the truth is, if I hadn't taken that first drink itjust would have taken me a lot longer to discover what Carla was truly like. I still would have found out at some stage though._

_As for that whole coversation with Eli, that was bound to happen as well, when two people feel that way, the truth is bound to come out eventually. I do sometimes wonder though if it had have come out at another time, would we have acted on those feelings in the same way. Yeah i'm sure you want to kow what happens next, and you will, everything comes to those who have patience._

* * *

**Authors Note: Sorry about the lack of updates, but heres and extra long one to make up for it. I didn't want to update until I knew I had written something at least semi-decent. So here it is. Enjoy and as always your reviews are greatly appreciated. What do you think will or should happen next with Eli and Grace? Let me know.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Don't lie to me Eli. I'm not stupid okay" Grace muttered closing her eyes so that she would not have to see the smirk that she was sure would appear on Eli's face.

"I'm not lying to you Grace. I may not exactly have been the nicest person to you lately but I never have and never will lie to you"

"That's bullshit Eli" Grace yelled sitting up, "What about that promise you made, right after I stopped tutoring you. You promised that we would stay friends. You knew how much it meant to me Eli" as tears blurred her eyes she reached for Eli's doona and hurriedly covered herself up.

Eli shook his head surprised that Grace had even remembered what he had said. "Grace, do you know how hard it's been for me to ignore you. To pretend as if you don't exist? But I had to Grace. Being your friend and living with you is too dangerous"

"What, you scared it's going to ruin your reputation or something?" Grace shot back, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Eli paused for a second, "No Grace. I was scared okay. Whenever I'm around you all I can think of is-"

"Is what Eli?"

"Is how much I want to kiss you" he said softly looking directly into her eyes.

"Then why haven't you?" Grace whispered.

"Because it wouldn't be right" Eli forced himself to drag his eyes away from hers.

"You know what, fuck you Eli" Grace said angrily but calmly, "you don't say that you want to be with me and then say it wouldn't be right. Either you want to be with me or-"

"I want to be with you"

"Then prove it" she whispered pushing back the covers and moving closer to him, "you said that you wanted it to be me and not Carla, well now's your chance".

Eli's eyes flickered down her body, and then up again and paused at her lips. "Are you sure this is what you want?" He asked as he leaned in towards her.

"Shut up" Grace smiled, her hand reaching behind his neck as their lips meet in a soft kiss.

"Grace wait" Eli pulled away breathlessly, as her hands played with the button on his jeans.

"For what?" she looked up with a smile and kissed him full on the lips. Eli deepened the kiss for a few minutes before pulling away.

"Are you a virgin?" Graces hand paused on the zipper and she rolled off the top of him.

"Does it matter if I am?" she asked hesitantly.

"No" Eli shook his head adamantly, reaching out to take her hand, "it's just that I want you to be sure. It's just sex Grace and you deserve more than that for your first time" he said softly.

Grace bit her lip, for some stupid reason she had thought that maybe this time it wouldn't just be about sex with him. That maybe it would be different with her. But obviously it wasn't, his words had just proved that. And the truth was regardless of how he felt she knew how she felt about him, and as long as she kept that in her heart, then he being her first would be the right thing.

Grace smiled and rolled over to face him, her pale bare skin in sharp contrast his own tanned skinned, "I want you to be my first Eli, regardless of what it means to you"

"Just as long as your sure" he said running his hand across her smooth waist.

"I am"

* * *

"Mmm" Grace woke up with a smile as the sun streamed in through the window. It was going to be a wonderful day she thought with happily, the events of last night flooding back into her mind.

Eli had been amazing which wasn't surprising considering she knew he was experienced but she was surprised at how gentle he had been.

With the huge smile still in place she rolled over, covering herself with the doona as she did so only to find that the spot where Eli had lay beside her was now empty.

* * *

Soon after she also discovered that he wasn't at home either, the house was completely empty.

"So Carla was looking pretty pissed off last night man" Coop said with a laugh as his ball swished cleanly through the hoop.

"Yeah well for some reason I really don't give a shit what she thinks" Eli said angrily, as he stepped up to the line to take his shoot.

"It didn't look that way to me last night" he answered back, raising an eyebrow as his friends shot missed. "What up Eli? You should have made that shot no problem"

"Carla got Grace Drunk last night"

"And?" Coop didn't understand where Eli was going with the conversation.

"Grace walked in on me and Carla"

"Oh" realization dawned on Coops friend, "So she's jealous huh?"

"Grace? Uh I wouldn't say that" Eli muttered, images of the previous nights events flashed into his mind.

"What's going on Eli?" Coop asked taking in Eli's guilty expression.

"I had sex with Grace"

"Oh"

"That's all?" Eli asked tossing the ball back to his friend.

"Well ah I don't know" Coop shook his head, "no wonder you're off your game"

"Coop, this isn't a joke" Eli snapped angrily, sinking onto the grass beside the court.

"I know, but it was just sex right? I know you guys are like related now, but maybe its best that you got it out of the way"

* * *

Eli slid his key into the door and turned it, careful to be as quiet as possible. Maybe she'll be asleep, he thought, but not very hopefully. Opening the door he shook his head. Just as he had expected, Grace was lying on the couch watching some old movie.

Walking inside he threw his keys on the table, Grace hadn't even looked his way when he had walked in. Shrugging his shoulders he walked over to the fridge, hoping that there would be something to eat. Dinner at Coops place usually consisted of a couple of microwave dinners, not exactly his ideal.

Spying the previous nights left over pizza he pulled out the box and walked back into the living room.

"What are you watching?" he asked Grace, still she didn't look at him.

"Nothing that would interest you" she said her voice full of hostility.

Eli nodded his head, "Well uh, you want some pizza?" he offered.

"What do you want Eli?" Grace finally turned around to face him. Her eyes were full of emotions, Eli could see that, but he couldn't tell what exactly. He had expected awkwardness, avoidance. But whatever this was he hadn't expected it.

"Actually I just wanted to see how you were. I mean I understand if things are a bit weird after last night but-"

"Why would it be weird Eli?" Grace asked raising an eyebrow, "It was just sex wasn't it?"

* * *

_Sex with Eli was everything I expected and more, and that's just the problem. I thought I could have sex with him, just sex, without the emotions or all that crap. But when I woke up to find that he was not there, that he couldn't even stick around the following morning I realized that it wasn't just sex and all that crap. Eli was the guy that I had been in love with for so long. I had lost my virginity to him and it had meant nothing to him. Or at least that's what I can remember thinking at the time. _


	5. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"What do you want Carla?" Grace asked coldly, not even looking up as she slid onto the table beside her.

"For you to tell me what I did" Carla answered innocently. The way she saw it was there was no way Eli could have told her about what she had said to him, so obviously she was upset over the little scene she had walked in on.

"Not everything is about you" her friend said, taking a bit of her salad sandwich.

"Look Grace, I'm sorry if you're jealous about me and Eli but-"

"Jealous? What the hell do I have to be jealous of?" Grace whirled around with a disbelieving expression. "You were just a one night stand Carla. It's not as if you meant anything to him".

"You know what Grace, you can deny it all you want" Carla said angrily, standing up from where she sat, "but everyone" she gestured to the rest of the cafeteria whose attention they now held "and I mean everyone" she not so subtly glanced over at Eli who was sitting in a corner with his friends, "knows that you are in love with Eli. And honestly I think it's pathetic. You're in love with a guy who you know you have no chance with"

"You know what Carla; I know that I have no chance with him okay. But at least I know that when I'm around him, his not wishing I was with someone else" Grace said calmly, her voice void of any emotion. Looking over at where Eli sat she shook her head. "Better yet, I don't have to put up with this crap okay. I've let you embarrass way too many times, but this time I'm not embarrassed, I'm ashamed. Ashamed that I actually thought you were my friend"

* * *

"Sounds like you've left a few unsatisfied ladies behind Eli. Care to explain?" Wink asked with a smirk, slapping him on the shoulder.

"Ladies? Come on man, if you're going to call Carla a lady you gotta back that up. That bitch is cold man" Coop shot back.

"Give it a rest guys" Eli sighed and shook his head, "I'm out" he pushed back his chair and stood up.

"Don't tell me you're going after her?"

"Which one?" Wink laughed, despite the fact that his joke had fallen flat on the rest of his friends.

"I need a smoke"

"I'll come with you" Coop hurried after his friend.

* * *

"Ignore him man, his an idiot" Coop puffed out, jogging to keep up with his friend.

Eli shook his head not knowing what to say, finally slowing down he turned the corner of the building and pulled out a packet of cigarettes and offered one to Coop.

"I thought you'd given up?" Coop said with a laugh as he lit his. Eli constant failed efforts to give up smoking never failed to amuse him.

"Fuck off" Eli growled, unable to keep the smile off his face.

"He actually smiles. Listen man, it's not that bad alright. The way I see it you did both yourself and Grace a favour the other night.

"And how's that?" Eli asked taking a deep drag.

"Well in the process of not sleeping with Carla you also showed Grace what a bitch her best friend is. Plus you gave Grace a night she will never forget. In the end man, it all works out fine"

"Yeah, until word gets out that I slept with her"

"I really don't think that's going to be a problem" Coop flipped his half smoked cigarette into the bin beside them. "If Grace was going to say something she could have done it during that whole scene in the cafeteria"

"Weird thing is Coop, as much as I'm scared that she will say something, part of me is also hoping that she will. This whole thing is so fucked up" he groaned hanging his head. He'd been trying to convince himself since that morning that all it had been was sex. But he knew it wasn't. There was something about Grace that got under his skin. Something about her that was different from all the other girls. Something that made him regret sleeping with her like he did.

"She's gotten to you hasn't she" Coop asked, laughing as his friend groaned again. "I knew it had to happen sooner or later"

"Couldn't it have happened later? This isn't me man" Eli jumped up out of frustration. "I don't do the whole relationship thing. I never have and… and I don't want to" Eli paused to take a drag, but Coop cut in before he could continue.

"Maybe there is a part of you that wants to"

* * *

"Good Grace you're home" Lily called out happily the moment Grace walked into the house.

Grace rolled her eyes and let her bag drop to the floor, her mother had that 'I need something' tone to her voice, and after the events of the past couple of days all she wanted was some time to herself.

"Hi honey, did you have a good day?" her mother greeted her rushing into the room.

"If you can call finding out what a bitch Carla is a good day then yeah I guess I did" Grace said sarcastically, "what do you want mom?"

Lily stared after her usually happy daughter as she stalked into the kitchen. She knew something was wrong, but she'd have to deal with it later. Much later.

"Grace, listen we need to talk, Zoë, Eli and Jessie too"

"Uh huh" Grace muttered opening the fridge.

"Grace?"

"What? Oh" Grace realized her mother was still talking to her.

"Do you know where Eli is?"

"No idea" she slammed the almost empty bottle of juice down on the table "and I really don't care"

* * *

"So the reason I needed to talk to you guys is because the magazine has decided to send me to Australia for the holidays. They are planning on selling the magazine down there and want me to go and promote it" Lily explained excitedly; however her excitement was lost on her children which sat in front of her.

Grace sat huddled up in one of the arm chairs, picking at a few loose threads in the material. Eli, who had finally come home an hour after Grace, was lying on his back on the couch staring intently up at the roof.

"Uh did something happen today that I missed?" Lily asked the excitement draining from her face.

"What?" Grace looked up, her cheeks flushed.

"No uh, nothing. Everything's fine" Eli answered at exactly the same time.

"Good, because your fathers coming with me and I'm leaving you guys in charge"

"What about Jessie and Zoë?" Grace said sitting up straighter. 3 months. How the hell was she supposed to live in the same house as Eli for 3 whole months without her parents being there? This could not be happening.

Similar questions were running through Eli's own mind. It was one thing for the two of them to be living in the same house with their parents, but alone? With no one around to stop… stop it! Eli scolded himself. You promised yourself you would not think of her that way.

"Zoë will be staying with her father. He's really been wanting her to spend some more time with them now that he and Tiffany are married so I think this would be the perfect opportunity.

"And Jessie?" Eli asked, dragging his mind off thoughts of Grace.

"Your father still needs to speak to her, but she'll probably spend some time both here and with your mother. Now that your mother has recovered from the accident she's pretty busy with work and everything, so we figured that while your mum would love to see more of her, she'd probably want some time to herself. As for you guys, I'm sure you are both old enough to look after yourselves"

* * *

_When mum announced that she and Rick were going to Australia and that she would be leaving me and Eli alone, together, in the same house I kind of freaked. I mean, I had only just slept with the guy and he was acting like it had never happened. He had gone back to pretending that I didn't exist and I was supposed to live with him alone for 3 months. The idea didn't exactly excite me._

_The first couple of weeks after they left were awkward to say the least. I actually found myself being lonely, which isn't something that I was used to. With the amount of family that usually shared our house I had often found myself praying that they would all just go away, and now they had. Plus since school was over, and Carla and I were no longer friends, there wasn't much to do. _

_Jessie came by for a couple of nights both weeks and it's weird but during the time we actually grew to be quite close. We'd stay up late into the night, just talking about stuff that I could never talk to Carla about. I never mentioned Eli and it's a good thing that I didn't. In a way I miss those couple of weeks. So much has changed between Jessie and I now._

_But anyway back to Eli. Something changed after those two weeks, and things were beginning to look up._

**

* * *

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**Authors Note: **Thank you to everyone who has been reading this story, it's great to hear such positive feedback and its what keeps me writing.

Tara825c – I re uploaded the fourth chapter so hopefully you can read it now, I don't think anyone else has had any problems with it though.

thabita – I cant make any promises. I began writing this story with the intent on writing something completely different to my other Once&Again fanfic – Now and Then and I think that so far I have succeeded. I find that a lot of stories tend to gloss over Grace and Eli's relationship and make them out to be really happy, which is fine, but I really wanted to explore that other side to Eli a bit more. So regardless on how the story develops I hope you enjoy it and keep reading.

Lanny - Their lives are definatley about to become pretty complicated as I'm sure you can tell from this chapter. Like I said I won't make any promises but hopefully you like what I come up with.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"I can't stand it Coop, Lily and Rick have been gone for 2 weeks. Two whole weeks and we have barely said a word to each other except for 'what would you like on your pizza' or 'is Chinese alright with you?'"

"Eli, come on, you had sex with her, then disappeared the next morning, what do you expect"

Eli shook his head, "I don't know what I expected, I didn't think that far ahead, but it sure as hell wasn't this. She won't even look at me"

"Maybe she's embarrassed? Or scared. That whole scene with Carla couldn't have been easy on her"

"I know. I should never have slept with her Coop. She deserves more than that for her first time"

"Eli, I hate to break it to you but I'm guessing she didn't mind losing it to you. Fuck, there's a long list of girls behind her"

"Shit Coop, don't say that"

"Why not, it's the truth. Listen man, you gotta stop going round in circles. You need to talk to her man"

"Every time I try to talk to her I keep thinking of the way she looked that night"

"Eli, I honestly have run out of things to tell you. Just talk to her okay"

* * *

"Grace, can I ask you a question?" Jessie asked nervously playing with a strand of her blonde hair. 

"Sure"

"What does it mean when a guy kisses you but then the next day he acts as if you don't even exist?"

Grace shook her head, god if only she knew, how the hell am I supposed to answer that when I have the exact same question. Apart from the kissing bit, but still.

"This boy, is he a friend of yours?"

"Well he was, or at least I thought he was, but things are really weird now, its been three days and he won't even look at me"

"If he was your friend then my guess is that his scared. Boys aren't always great at talking about how they feel"

"But how do I know if it meant something?" Just because it meant nothing to Eli it doesn't mean that it meant nothing to me, why doesn't he realize that?

"The only thing you can do is talk to him Jess, I know it won't be easy but then you will know for sure" God, listen to me, maybe I should take some of my own advice.

* * *

Grace flicked on her stereo and then sprawled across her bed. 

"_Everybody's talkin'  
But they don't say a thing  
They look at me with sad eyes  
But I don't want their sympathy  
It's cool you didn't want me  
Sometimes you can't go back  
But why'd you have to go and make a mess like that?  
Well I just have to say  
Before I let go..."_

Laughing at the irony of the song that was playing she flicked it off again.

**AT THE SAME TIME**

Unknown to Grace Eli had followed her upstairs, he knew he had to talk to her but he couldn't quite make himself speak her name. Now he was standing outside her door, urging himself to knock, without a clue in regards to what he was going to say.

Just do it you idiot, what happened to Mr. Cool. She's just a girl that's it.

**GRACES BEDROOM**

Just go downstairs and talk to him, Grace tried to convince herself. Standing up she took two steps towards the door and then stopped. I can't do-

A knock at the door broke into her thoughts.

* * *

"Grace" Eli said, sounding a little bit surprised, or maybe he was just nervous, "uh hi" yep definitely nervous, Grace thought to herself trying to not to smile. 

"Well yeah, it is my door, were you expecting someone else?" Grace asked dryly.

"Uh no um, I just ah" Eli stumbled over his words, forcing himself to stop he finally dragged his eyes of the floor to meet hers. She was smiling, no, not smiling, laughing, at him. "Oh, sorry" he shook his head, smiling himself 'it's just that I got myself so worked up to come here and talk to you that I kinda forgot what I was meant to be doing"

"You want to come in?" Grace asked gesturing inside her room.

Eli looked at her unmade bed and swallowed, "ah no, that's probably not a great idea" an image of Grace tangled up in the sheets of his ow unmade bed flashed into his mind.

"Ok" Grace nodded, "so um, you wanted to say something?"

"Yeah ah" Eli shoved his hands in his pockets making a split decision to just say whatever came to his mind. "Look this is stupid, us not talking to each other, not even looking at each other"

"Whose fault is that" Grace asked struggling to keep the smile on her face.

"Okay yeah I know I've been a jerk but I wasn't sure how to act. I mean the next morning I felt so bad okay. It was your first time and it should have been with someone who loved you. You were drunk and I took advantage of that"

"Look Eli, I don't regret sleeping with you so you shouldn't feel guilty. You told me from the start that it was just sex and I still choose to sleep with you. And don't say I wasn't thinking straight, because I knew exactly what I was doing"

"But"

"No buts Eli. I'm glad my first time was with you. I wanted it to be with you, and I understand that it doesn't mean anything, so no I'm not expecting anything except for you to be my friend. It hurt so much waking up the next morning to find that you had gone Eli. That you couldn't even stick around long enough for me to wake with you beside me"

"I never meant to hurt you"

"I know" Grace nodded, smiling once again, Eli loved her smile and as hard as he tried not to he felt himself being drawn to it.

"And I promise I won't let it happen again" Eli said taking a step towards her.

"Uh huh"

"Unless you ah want it to happen again" Eli asked, his eyes glued to hers.

"Umm" Grace was unable to answer, her heart beating furiously she thought back to that night and how good it had felt when he held her in his arms. She knew she should take a step back and close her door but knowing you should do something and actually doing it were two totally separate things.

Reaching out Eli stroked the softness of her cheek with his hand.

Taking a deep breath Grace make a decision, closing the gap between them she brought her lips to his, kissing him hard on the lips. Eli didn't hesitate to kiss her back and he accepted her warmly as she parted his lips with her tongue.

Wrapping her arms around his neck Grace moved backwards, pulling Eli into her room, she pulled back for him long enough to take a breath and close her bedroom door.

"What are we doing?' Eli asked his conscience kicking in.

"Nothing that I haven't wanted to do for the past two weeks" Grace assured him, moaning softly as he trailed kisses up her collarbone.

"Uh huh" he whispered moving his lips back to her mouth, "me too" and with that he pushed her back onto her bed.

"Grace wait" Eli forced the words out of his mouth as she pulled her shirt up and over her head.

"For what?" she smiled, god she looked so hot, Eli shook his head.

"Uh, this can't happen" he closed his eyes as Grace leaned down over him to kiss him. Maybe if he didn't have to see how beautiful her body was then he could say no.

"Why not" she whispered softly, and he felt her lips on his neck. "Come one Eli, its doesn't have to mean anything" she laughed, her hands slipping underneath his shirt she tried to pull it off but couldn't as he was laying down.

"Your right" Eli nodded sitting up and pulling off his shirt. He laughed as Grace pushed him back down on the bed roughly.

"I want you, and that's all that matters right now" Grace whispered.

* * *

_I hadn't been lying when I said that something had changed between Eli and I, after that sex became a big part of my life, with Eli anyway. But soon it wasn't just sex, Eli introduced me into a world that I knew existed, but thatI had never been a part of. I never wanted to be a part of it, until I realised that it was also Eli's world. And by that stage I was pretty much prepared to do anything if i thought it would bring him one step closer to saying those three little words that I thought would mean so much._

_

* * *

_

Lyrics from Kelly Clarkson's song 'Low'

**Authors Note: **Finally and update, hope you guys like it, regardless I'd love to hear from you. The sooner and more you review the more you will get in return.


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"So Coop, I'm gonna take off" Eli said tapping his friend on the shoulder.

"Is that such as great idea?" he asked raising his eyebrow at the pretty blonde who was waiting for Eli by the door of the club.

"Coop, I appreciate your concern but its fine" Eli answered, "anyway it's not like it's the first time I've taken a chick home this summer"

"But what about" Coop didn't get to finish his sentence.

"What about her? She knew from the start that it can't be serious between us. Plus she isn't going to be home tonight, how else am I supposed to have fun?"

"Whatever man, your choice" he said walking away. God Eli could be such and idiot he thought angrily. He already has a gorgeous, sweet, intelligent girl waiting for him and yet he chooses to go of with some trashy blonde. Of course, he thought to himself, I probably wouldn't have turned her down either, but then again I don't have a girl waiting for me to tell her that I love her.

* * *

"So what's your brother doing tonight?" Leah asked casually reaching for a piece of pizza. 

"Step brother" Grace corrected her friend automatically.

"Is there a difference?"

"Yeah well that would be like illegal" Grace snapped. Leah had been on her case ever since she had told her about her and Eli. Not that there had been much to tell.

"Grace, regardless of how you guys are related, sex with a minor is illegal. No, just wait one second okay" her friend continued in response to the indignant look on her face, "if you want to have sex that's your decision, that isn't my business okay, and I'm not going to judge you for that. I just think you deserve better"

"What am I supposed to expect. Like he said it doesn't mean anything and it was my choice, his giving me exactly what he promised and I shouldn't expect any more."

"Maybe you shouldn't expect it Grace, but you deserve more. You don't deserve to be here with me just so you don't have to hear him bringing home whatever girl he may happen to meet, and you sure as hell deserve someone who isn't taking drugs"

"Eli isn't taking drugs" Grace denied tossing her pizza crust down.

"So your saying he didn't come to school stoned yesterday?"

"So he smoked some dope, it was no biggie" Grace said softly, avoiding Leah's eyes.

"Maybe for Eli it wasn't, but then I saw you Grace, and don't tell me it was just once"

"What the hell is your problem" Grace exploded, turning on her friend, guilt written all over her face.

"It isn't what my problem is Grace. It's what your problem is. Taking drugs isn't going to bring Eli any closer to saying what you want him to say and you should know that"

* * *

"Look I'm sorry, this just isn't going to work" Eli admitted, pulling away from the gorgeous blonde whom he had been kissing. 

"You can't be serious" she glared at him.

"Well ah yeah, I am" Eli said, his apologetic expression turning into a smirk.

"God, I should have known better" the girl complained, pulling her top back up, "1st years are so damn immature"

"Really? Well I guess I wouldn't know, being a high school senior and all, but then again, I didn't hear you complaining a minute ago"

"Fuck you"

"You already tried that, and I would say maybe next time, but I don't think there will be one, do you?" Eli laughed as she slammed his bedroom door and then sank down on his bed, he'd been a total jerk and he knew it, but what else was new? Being a jerk was what he was good at, well apart from sex, but even that was getting old.

Rolling onto his stomach he groaned, he had just let a total babe walk out his door and all because of one stupid little comment about Grace.

* * *

"You know what, I think I'm going to go" Grace nodded as she stood up, "I ah forgot that Jessie is coming over really early tomorrow to go shopping so I should probably get a decent nights sleep" 

"I thought we were going shopping tomorrow"

"Sorry I ah meant to tell you sooner" Grace shrugged as she grabbed her bag off the couch, anyway I'll see you later okay"

* * *

The sound of the front door slamming caused Eli to awaken with a start. Sitting up he rubbed his eyes, he couldn't even remember falling asleep. Guess I wasn't the only one who had a bad night he thought as he made his way over to his door to find out why Grace was storming up the stairs as she was. 

Reaching out for the door handle he paused to listen as her footsteps stopped outside his door opening it before she had a chance to knock.

"Eli, hey. I thought you were busy tonight?" Grace asked, glancing past him into his empty bedroom.

"Yeah it uh didn't work out" Eli shrugged, yawning lazily.

"Oh"

"I thought you were going out tonight?" Eli asked casually, wanting to know why she was standing outside his room with such a pissed off look on her face.

"I was, I did. Now I'm back. Is that a problem?" she snapped glaring at him.

"Whoa, chill out, it was just a question, I didn't flip when you asked me"

Grace shook her head "Sorry, Leah's just been hassling me that's all. "

"About what?"

"You. Us" Grace shook her head, "Drugs".

"That's none of her business, and anyway, it was just a bit of dope, no big deal"

"She's just worried; she thinks that I'm smoking with you to get closer to you"

"And are you?"

"What sort of a question is that Eli, I know the deal alright?"

Eli looked at her for a second and shrugged, he knew she wasn't telling the total truth but right then he didn't care.

"Alright, sorry, listen Coop gave me some great stuff earlier, what do you say?"

* * *

"Grace. Eli? Anyone home?" Jessie called out, knocking loudly on the door, she was sure someone must be home, the car was out the front. Shaking her head she fumbled for her keys in her bag and opened the door. 

"Eli? Are you here?" as no one was downstairs she began her way upstairs, as she stood outside Eli's door she was sure she could faintly make out a sweet smoky smell.

"Eli!" Jessie yelled pounding on his door.

**AT THE SAME TIME**

"Shit that's Jessie" Eli groaned loudly as his sister banged on his door, rolling over onto his side he panicked slightly when he saw Grace lying beside him on the bed.

"Grace wake up" he whispered, shaking her hurriedly.

"Just a second!" he called out to his sister as Grace stood up, still half asleep. Dragging her over to his wardrobe he pushed her inside.

"Crap, the smoke" Eli shook his head, cursing at himself he ran over to the window and opened it, tossing his ashtray out the window in the process.

"Are you okay?" his sisters worried voice called out to him.

Taking a deep breath he opened the door, "yeah I'm fine, I thought you weren't going to be home tonight"

"Long story" wrinkling her nose she looked at her brother with disappointment, "Have you been smoking again?"

* * *

_I think I was so angry at the time because I knew that what Leah was saying was the truth. I had begun smoking with Eli because i thought it would bring us closer, I just wasn't ready to admit it to myself at the time. _

_Needless to say Jessie didn't beleive Eli when he told her he wasn't smoking and she was around a lot more after that, apparently she missed having her brother around, but we all knew that was a lie. Her excuse of Karen needing space was more credible but not very beleiveable. _

_Which is why it wasn't that much of a surprise when Karen suggested soon after that Eli go and stay with her for the rest of the summer. Needless to say he was less than impressed._


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"That's bullshit and you know it" Eli burst out angrily.

"Don't you talk to me like that Eli" his mother answered warningly on the other end of the phone.

"It true and you know it, I'm god damn 17, I don't need a damn baby sitter"

"I never said you did, I just thought it would be nice if we could spend some time together before Lily and Rick came back, that's all"

"Don't lie to me mum, I'm not stupid. I mean you tell me that Jessie has spent so much time here because you are tired and need a break, but then you turn around and want us both to come stay with you. I'm not stupid"

Receiving no reply, Eli rolled his eyes and pushed the off button on the phone with a relieved sigh. He didn't know what his mother's problem was but he was hoping she would get over it soon. With Jessie sticking her head round the corner every two seconds to check on him he was beginning to feel claustrophobic.

* * *

"I don't like you spending so much time alone with that boy" Grace was having a similar conversation with her father only hours later.

"What boy? Eli? God dad, his almost my brother"

"Brother or not, his a bad influence"

"And why is that?" Grace sighed as she leaned up against the kitchen counter, she couldn't believe Karen had actually spoken to her father about Eli.

"I've spoken to Karen and we think its best if you came and stayed with me until your mother gets back"

"No way"

"Grace, I'm not asking you, I'm telling you"

"And you have no right to!" Grace exploded, "God Jake, you've barely been apart of my life for years and now you want to act like the concerned parent, well it isn't going to happen. You can't force me to stay with you and you know it"

"I would appreciate it if you tried to show me a little bit of respect, I am your father"

"You may be my father, but mum has primary custody of me, once a month remember? That is the only time you have the right to tell me to do anything, and until that time comes, I want nothing to do with you."

* * *

"So she told him huh?" El asked without need as Grace slammed the phone down on the counter beside her.

"I wish I knew what the hell her problem was" Grace yelled out of frustration, "god, what fucking proof does she have?"

"None" Eli shrugged, reaching into the fridge and pulling out a cartoon of milk. "The thing you have to understand about my mum is that we have never gotten along great, she's always been the last person to trust me, and she sure as hell has never believed in me. She thinks that she is protecting you"

"I don't need protecting, and certainly not from you" Grace said softly, unable to meet his eyes.

"Are you sure?" Eli asked turning to her, "maybe she's right, maybe I should go stay with her for awhile"

"What the hell are you talking about Eli?" Grace said in a mixture of anger and confusion, "I thought this is what you wanted?"

"It was… is" Eli shook his head, "it's just that it seems to be causing all these problems for you and the last thing I wanted to do was hurt you"

Grace shook her head as she walked towards him, "you haven't hurt me Eli, that isn't possible remember, this doesn't mean anything"

"It means something Grace and we both know it" Eli admitted forcing himself to look at her.

"It can't mean anything" Grace shook her head adamantly.

"Why not"

"Because if it meant anything then letting this go at the end of summer would hurt way to much"

* * *

"Why did you do that for?" Eli groaned, letting the fridge slam shut at the sound of Grace's footsteps hurrying up the stairs, "why did you have to go all serious? After all it was your choice. You said all along that it couldn't mean anything, why the hell would you come out and say that it did.

Eli shook his head trying to clear his mind, he knew that he had meant what he had said to grace, what was going on between them did mean something, the question was what? All he knew was that he had the perfect opportunity to sleep with a gorgeous blonde and for some reason all he could think about was Grace and her big brown eyes and trusting smile.

* * *

Eli knocked on Graces door but walked on in without bothering to wait for her answer, he knew she wouldn't anyway.

"Are you aright?" he asked, walking over to the figure that lay huddled amongst a pile of blankets and pillows.

"I'm fine" Grace sniffed, wiping her eyes.

"Do you want to talk?" Eli offered even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. Much to his relief Grace shook her head.

With a slight smile Eli sat down next to her on her bed, "you know I was thinking" he whispered suggestively, drawing her to him gently.

"About what?"

"The fact that we have never had sex in your bed?"

"We haven't?" Grace asked acting surprised.

"Nope, never"

"Well it's about time that we changed that isn't it" Grace replied sighing contently as Eli lips brushed her neck softly.

* * *

_As much as I hate to admit it at the time I was so scared of losing him. For those months while our parents were away Eli had become my life, my world, it was almost like he was apart of me._

_But not matter how scared I was of losing him nothing could have prepared me for hearing him admit that what was happening between us actually meant something. They were the words I had been waiting to hear all summer but once they were spoken I almost wished that he could take them back. Because acknowledging that it meant something made it so much more real, and it meant that once our parents returned we would be giving away something that actually meant something, as opposed to, well something that meant nothing._

_Maybe I should have taken Jakes warning more seriously, maybe going and staying with him for the rest of the summer would have made things easier, would have prevented mistakes from being made. I don't know. _


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

"But you guys were careful right?"

"You mean did we use a condom?" Grace turned to her friend with an incredulous look.

"Well uh yeah" Leah ducked her head unable to meet her friends gaze.

"God Leah! What do you think I am stupid?" Grace said angrily.

"Grace I'm sorry it's just that you said that you were late so…"

"So you just assumed that Eli and I were having unprotected sex. Great Leah, some support you are" Grace sighed standing up from her bed. "You know what? I thought telling you would help but obviously I was wrong, I think I just want to be alone right now".

* * *

"So how's things going with you and Grace?" Coop asked casually as he and Eli made their way around to the back of their science building. 

Eli shrugged running a hand through his hair, "Honesty man, I have no idea. You know first this crap with My mum and Jake wanting to be all protective and shit… it's weird but despite all that things were actually pretty good with me and Grace… but the few days have been different"

"Different how?"

"I wish I knew" Eli said taking the lit cigarette that his friend offered him, "It's like she's gone all distant on me or something. Things were great after I admitted that what we had meant something, but yeah it's like she's avoided letting me touch her for days now"

Coop nodded thoughtfully, "Maybe she's freaked out by the fact that her parents are coming back soon. I mean it pretty much means that whatever is going on between you is over right?"

"Yeah…Maybe" Eli answered indecisively, taking a drag of his smoke before passing it back to Coop. "I guess I kind of thought that they didn't have to know".

"You'd be risking a lot man trying to hide something like that"

"I know, but I'm kinda thinking it's worth it Coop. This thing with Grace, it isn't just about sex anymore, I don't think it ever was, it just took me awhile to be willing to admit to it"

"Eli I honestly think that you need to talk to Grace… there's obviously something bothering her and if it has something to do with her you should know… and if it doesn't, be there for her anyway. If you want to make this thing work with her you have to show her that you want more than just sex, you have to be her friend Eli"

* * *

"Grace, I know you've been avoiding me the last few days" Eli rehearsed under his breath as he approached her closed bedroom door. Pausing for a second outside it he ran his hand through his hair, it was never meant to be this hard, he thought with a sigh, thats why he tried to avoid relationships, they just got way to messy. But Grace was different, their situation was well... it was messy. 

Taking a deep breath he reached over a knocked on the door. Recieving no reply he knocked again, before opening her door.

Weird he thought, he was sure Grace had told him that she would be home this afternoon when he called her, walking into her room hehe took in the sight of her unually messy room. Usually everything was perfectly clean and yet here he was standing in front of an unmade bed, clothes were scattered around everywhere, and hang on, what was that?

Walking over to her rubbish bin behind the door he leaned over and picked up a purple box that had seemed to have fallen out, his heart thumping against his chest ashe read the front of the box.

* * *

It was past 1am when Grace finally retured home to find Eli fast asleep on her bed, still holding the box from her pregnancy test in his hand. Standing in the doorway she reached into her pocket, pulling out the stick which had, that afternoon, confirmed her fears of being pregnant. She hadn't taken the test until after Eli had called her. At the time she had honestly planned on being home, but once she had found outshe realised that she just wasn't ready to face him. How could she? 

Putting the stick back in her pocket she went and sat next to him. She had thought a lot about everything in the last few hours, about her and Eli's relationship, about her baby... god it was so weird to think that right then, inside of her was a living thing. In just 8 months time she could be a mother. But that was the thing, she was just 16, she wasn't ready to be a mother anymore than Eli was ready to be a father. Laying down next to Eli on the bed she took his hand, a tear sliding down her cheek as he awoke slightly and reached over to hold her in his arms. She knew what she had to do, but for now, she just wanted him to hold her.

* * *

_The feeling of Eli's arms around me, as we both lay there together that night is one that I can't forget. Even when our whole world was falling apart he made me feel as if everything would be okay. It was a feeling I needed to hold onto, and it's a feeling that I still hold onto today, because even though so much has changed since then, it's a feeling that helps me get through the bad days, knowing that I am not the only one._

_It was while I was lying there in his arms that I made one of the most difficult decisions of my life. _


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Grace awoke the following morning to find the place beside her, which had previously been taken up by a restlessly sleeping Eli the night before. Sadly she nodded her head… she wasn't surprised really, after all he'd only just discovered that the girl that he… the girl that he what? Was sleeping with? Either way regardless, it wouldn't have been easy for him to have found the pregnancy test box. Things weren't great as it was, and things had just gone from bad to worse.

Forcing herself out of bed she pulled on the same pair of jeans she'd worn the previous night before, she couldn't be bothered getting dressed up, plus she wanted to be comfortable anyway she told herself as she tied her hair back into a loose pony tail. It's all going to be okay, she told herself as she headed out of her room and down the stairs.

It was then, much to her surprise that she discovered that Eli in fact was still home.

"What going on?" she asked hesitantly, taking in the site of Eli who was standing in front of a huge stack of pancakes. On the table was every topping you could think of, along with a plate of toast.

"Well uh I" Eli blushed as he walked over to her, placing the plate of pancakes on the table. "I guess I just thought it would be nice you know?"

"That's really sweet" Grace couldn't help but smile as a warm feeling flooded her body, leaning over she hugged him, clinging to the warmth of his body for a moment before letting go.

"Look, I just want you to know Grace that I will be there for you okay" Eli said taking her hand, "I know that I don't really seem like the type, me a father, I still can't imagine it, but I'll try"

Grace took a deep breath before answering, "Eli as much as I appreciate it, I really do, knowing that you would be there for me means a lot, but" shaking her head she forced herself to smile "I'm not pregnant, the test came back negative."

* * *

"Leah, I'm sorry okay… It would just mean a lot if you were there… I don't think I can do this on my own" Grace apologized to her friend over the phone later on that morning.

"Are you sure Grace? I mean once you do this there's no turning back"

"What other choice do I have?" Grace asked biting her lip, "I'm 16, what the hell would I be able to offer a child? And Eli… he means well but he isn't ready to be a father, I can't do this to him".

"So Eli doesn't know?"

"No, and he can't" Grace said, "No one else knows Leah and it has to stay that way".

"I'm not sure Grace, I mean doesn't he at least have the right to know?"

"Please Leah… my appointments at 2… Eli thinks I'm spending the night at your place… if you decide to come I'll met you outside the clinic okay, otherwise I'll call you tonight".

* * *

Grace looked at her watch anxiously, for what must have been the 20th time in 5 minutes. You can do this, even if she doesn't show up, she told herself.

Placing her hands on her stomach she shook her head, someday it would be right, but until then she had to do what was best for everyone. Taking a deep breath she smiled sadly, knowing that Leah wasn't going to turn up, she turned and walked into the clinic, this was something which she would have to do on her own.

"Are you sure this is what you want? There are other options such as adoption that we could talk about before you make you final decision" Grace tuned out of what the doctor in front of her was saying. It had been half an hour since her appointment had started and so far she had seen a doctor, a psychologist and yet another doctor, all of who were trying to convince her not to go through with the decision she had made.

Yes she knew that she could change her mind right up until the very last second, yes she knew there were other options, but she also knew that the decision she had made was the right one and she didn't need anyone trying to convince her otherwise.

Grace nodded her head forcing herself to smile, "I'm sure this is what I want"

The doctor looked at her steadily for a moment, "Okay" she sad shaking her head, "Lets get you ready".

* * *

"So you're telling me you got all freaked out over nothing?" Coop laughed shaking his head.

"It's not funny" Eli rolled his eyes, reaching for another slice of pizza. Taking a bite he shrugged "What if she had of been? What would I have done then?"

"I thought you told her you would be there for her?"

Swallowing Eli shook his head, "Sure it's easy to say that at the time, I mean what else was I supposed to say… but me, a father? Come on"

"Girls man, sometimes I just think they aren't worth it" Coop laughed at the serious expression on his best mates face, "what man? Shouldn't you like be happy?"

"Yeah I'm happy" Eli answered forcing himself to smile, "it was just a bit of a reality check you know… anyway our parent's are going to be home soon, what are we supposed to do then?"

"Can't wait to see the look on you fathers face"

"There is no way they can know… no way"

* * *

Grace awoke slowly, her eyes blurred and a dull ache coming from her lower stomach, "where am I?" she asked wearily.

"It's okay Grace, you're at the clinic remember?"

Grace thought for a second then nodded, yes she remembered, all too well.

"Okay good, now the doctor just wanted me to talk to you for a moment, and after that I'll let you get some rest. Usually this kind of procedure would only require you to stay in for a couple of hours, however there were a few small complications"

"Complications? Like what?" Grace sat up quickly, ignoring the searing pain across her stomach.

"Nothing too serious, there was just a bit more bleeding than usual due to complications with the stitches, which meant that you required a few more than usual, however you're perfectly fine now but we'd just like to keep you in overnight to make sure you aren't moving around too much today. Is that okay with you?"

Grace nodded wearily, it wasn't as if she could exactly go home like this, and she couldn't exactly stay with Leah like she was planning, "yeah" she answered softly, sliding down slowly on the bed, "that's okay".


	11. Chapter 10

**Authors Note: **_Thanks to everyone for the reviews, it's great to see people are still reading this and all your feedback is greatly appreciated. But now comes the announcement that this will be the final chapter for this story, which will also be followed up by an epilogue. Hope you all enjoy the rest of it; I'd love to hear from you._

**Lyrics: **Tammin Sursok _"World Without You"_

* * *

**Chapter 10**

_3 Days Later_

"Please Grace? Can't I just come over so we can talk" Grace laughed shaking her head.

"Look Leah, like I said to you yesterday, I have nothing to say to you, end of story okay, stop calling me" ignoring the muffled protests coming from the other end of the phone she hung up on the girl who had become her best friend over the last few months.

Flinching slightly out of pain, she stood up from the couch where she had been sitting just as the phone rang again.

"I told you to stop calling me" Grace said angrily, answering the phone.

"Grace, sweetie, is that you?" he mother's worried voiced drifted over the phone.

"Mum!" Grace exclaimed nervously, "How are you"

"I'm fine honey, who were you talking to before?" she asked curiously.

"Just some guy that keeps pranking the house… nothing major" she lied, biting her lip hoping that Lily wouldn't push the issue.

"Okay, as long as you're sure everything is fine… But actually I was just calling to let you know that we're coming home in a couple of days."

"Okay" Oh god, what were they going to do? They had known that their parent's would be home soon… but having a time limit on it just made it so much more real.

Minutes later Eli walked into the room to find Grace, who had reclaimed her previous position, sitting on the couch staring blankly at the wall in front of her.

"Who was that?" he asked not noticing the expression on her face until she didn't answer. "Grace? Earth to Grace? What's wrong?"

"What?" Grace shook her head, her eyes slowly focusing on him. "Oh sorry" she shrugged, "that was mum; they're coming home in a couple of days".

"Oh" a dark cloud passed across Eli's face… "well I guess that's it then" he mumbled, running a hand through his hair.

"What do you mean?" Grace tried to keep the panic out of her voice.

"I just mean that with them home… you know, obviously they aren't going to be happy if they find out about all this" Grace bit her lip angrily, he doesn't even know half of it, she thought.

"So what are you saying Eli?" Grace asked, a tremble in her voice"

Eli looked at her, his expression softening he sat down beside her and took her hand. "Grace, these past couple of months has been great" he laughed, "and I'm not just talking about the sex either… although that was a bonus" he admitted with a smirk. "But I honestly can't see how it will work with our parent's home, they would completely freak out, you know that"

"They don't have to know" Grace said adamantly.

"I know" Eli nodded, "But do you really want to keep lying to them Grace? We live in the same house; do you really want to sneak around behind their backs, constantly looking over your shoulder to make sure you aren't caught? You mean a lot to me Grace… too much to make you live like that"

* * *

_Days and nights and nights and days  
and silent shades of lazy greys  
I call your name  
It's all the same_

It was late afternoon that same day when Grace found herself lying back on her bed, thinking about everything that had happened the past summer. She never really had taken the time to sit down and reflect on what had happened, she had just accepted things as they came, kept moving, thinking that eventually things had to get better. And eventually they did, for awhile anyway, until something new happened to drag her back down.

_Sitting staring at the ceiling  
Dripping painted pictures peeling  
From my wall  
The time just crawls_

The time when her and Eli didn't get along seemed so long ago, her friendship with Carla, the way in which it ended, she could remember it like tomorrow and yet she had never stopped to think about what it actually meant. She had lost her best friend, granted she had treated her like crap, but she had barely paused for a moment before jumping into things with Eli, and before allowing herself to get so close to Leah.

_Was it yesterday I don't know  
Was I dreaming or did I lose everything  
I believed in  
(If you could only see what I see)  
Every time we meet_

Now three months later, she had lost almost everyone that had ever meant anything to her, with Carla she had lost many of her friends; she was letting Leah go by choice, and Eli… where could she even begin? She was losing him too, but not by choice, he was letting her go and that of all things is what hurt the most.

_Imagine a world with no sky  
Imagine the ocean run dry  
Imagine then you'll see the view  
of a world without you_

She knew he was only doing it because he cared, she knew that it was the right thing, there was no way that they could hide it from their parents, and yet part of her was willing to risk everything just to hold on to him.

_Imagine no sun and no rain  
Imagine that each day's the same  
It doesn't matter what I do  
in a world without you?_

With a sigh she wiped the tears from her eyes and forced herself to sit up, her mother and Rick would be home in just a few days, now was the time for her and Eli to sort things out once and for all.

_Imagine no sun and no rain  
Imagine that each day's the same  
It doesn't matter what I do  
in a world without you? _

My world without you

* * *

And so Eli and Grace's last few days together passed, if you would have asked Grace at the time she would have said they were the longest few days of her life, having nothing else to do but to just sit back and wait for her parent's to return and put an end to her relationship with Eli. But for Eli those three days seemed even longer, not only was it his last 3 days with Grace, but it would also be some of his last days at home.

After much consideration he had made the decision to move out of his home. Coop's parents were going away for the year so Coop had offered him a room while they were gone. He'd known about it for awhile but had only just decided that it would be the best thing for him to do… he knew that living with Grace, and having to pretend that noting had never happened would be just to hard, and near impossible. This way they would both have space, and she would be able to move on with her life without him always being there. His only problem now would be finding the words to tell Grace.

Things between them cooled down pretty quickly after they found out their parents would be home, things had to end, and they knew that it would be easier just to end things as soon as they could.

It hadn't been easy… Eli found the urge to just reach out and touch her almost overwhelming at times but in his heart he believed he was doing the right thing. The pregnancy scare had really made him sit back and think about the choices he was making. He cared about Grace greatly and believed that with time it could even grow into love, which is why things had to be ended now, because if he fell in love with her there would be no turning back and he was realistic enough to know that it could never work out between them.

* * *

"So this is it?" Eli said wistfully as they watched their parent's car pull into the driveway from where they sat side by side on the couch. Smiling sadly he reached out and took Graces hand. "I never meant to hurt you Grace, I need you to know that" he said softly, his other hand reaching out to tilt her chin so that her eyes met his.

Grace nodded as a tear crept out of the corner of her eye and slide slowly down her cheek "I'll miss you" she forced out, biting her lip.

"I'll miss you too" Eli replied, leaning over and kissing her gently before standing up.

Standing up they stood side by side and watched as their parent's got out of the car. Grace forced herself to smile as she walked over to the door, pausing for a moment to wipe another tear from her eye, she opened the door to be greeted by her mothers arms.

"So how was your summer sweetie?"

Grace laughed, if only she knew.


	12. Epilogue

**Authors Note: **Here it finally is, the epilogue you guys have been waiting for, sorry it took so long.

**Epilogue**

_It's hard to believe that it's only been 6 months since everything that happened, 6 months since Eli and I said our final goodbye to each other, 6 month since I said goodbye to the child that must always remain my secret, and mine only. Eli could never know, nor can my family, the truth would tear the apart._

_The truth still tears me apart now on a continual basis. From the day Eli finished packing his bags and moved out into Coops apartment till now, I've waited for the day that he was to return home and that day has come a lot sooner than planned._

_Coop's parents are returning a lot sooner than expected, and in just 3 hours, Eli will be coming home. No matter how many times I write it, it still doesn't seem any more real. This is the very same Eli that just 6 months ago I was in love with, the very same Eli who has not called or come to visit me once since he left. The Eli who went right back to his old ways of sleeping around with a different random girl whenever he wanted._

_Sometimes it's like it never happened, as if Eli was never mine, as if he had never kissed me, or smiled for me, or touched me in ways that only he could know how, but then I just remember what our love created and I know that our love was real and still is. Despite everything I still love him. Despite everything I still want to be with him and one day, I don't know when, I will be with him again, I have to._

_But until then, this must remain our secret, the words that spill across these pages, detailing mine and Eli's story, must never be revealed._

_I'm coming clean  
Let the rain fall  
Let the rain fall  
I'm coming clean_

_Let's go back  
Back to the beginning_


End file.
